Post-Con Exhaustion

I've got the Big Bad Blues, but in the best way.

Hi all. I want to have a larger post to describe my experience last weekend specifically at another point in time, but for now I will say simply: Big Bad Con is a source of light in my life that cannot be matched. As a registration desk volunteer (now captain) I interact with so many people, from all over the world, and for that one weekend it feels like so many of us are seen and beloved in our purest forms—for many of the people I see, the look of unbridled joy that slowly grows in their eyes as the weekend progresses tells me that this is the only space in their life that sees them as they are, and as they want to be. All because we share a love of games, the kind with pen and paper and dice and all manner of fun implements to take in hand. The event is not perfect by any means, for no human endeavor is. But all things considered, we at least try. We try to make space for those who need it, we try to listen to voices that go unheard.

I will talk soon about pain both physical and financial that I suffered for the experience, but let me make it clear: I have no regrets. Not a one. I got to see two wonderful people, both good friends of mine that I would not have if I hadn't first gone to Big Bad Con on a whim in 2019, be wed in the event hall in a private affair that was set up in the span of a single day. I can safely say no other convention experience can ever top that.

That said, the experience cost a lot. In selling the stickers I had made for the affair, I barely made back the cost of printing. As a volunteer staff member (my first time ever, I guess they like me too!) I was given an amount to partially pay for my room—I ended up rooming with two others to make it affordable. Both were cool people that I hope to see again. Much of the cost that remains is from travel expenses; charging my car to keep it “fueled” for the trip, and unexpectedly needing a room for the night, are the two larger offenders. In total and including food and incidental expenses I spent about $300 out of pocket. After accounting for booth sales.

The physical pain is another issue. To put it lightly…the drive itself, up and down, knocked me the fuck out. I'm still trying to recover. It's not something I can do regularly by any means, and it prevents me from drawing or streaming, or doing much of anything that generates income to cover that $300 price tag.

Meanwhile the monthly debts loom over my head, waiting not-so-patiently for their share of money I do not have, as they always do.

I was able to get two extra commissions from the experience, but I could use a few more. I hate to ask for donations as often as I do, but I could use a lot of those too. Look to Ko-Fi in the coming days for the remaining stickers to go on sale, as well. Not sure if or when I'll make another printing of any of them, so for now consider this the limited run.

The convention gave me a lot to think about and plans for things I want to do, but those don't pay my credit card bill. Not yet, anyway.

Typing hurts and I need to eat now, so I'll leave it there.

Until next time, friends.